he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
