We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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