I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
