So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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