my sisters under your porch take her home
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
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