I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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