I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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