omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Randomize
