those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
