i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
