And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
