someone get that fucking seahorse.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
