Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?