We're facebook friends in real life
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?