I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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