it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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