I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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