hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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