I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
