And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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