He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
