Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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