Little spoons don't ask big questions
sarcasm needs its own font
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
