Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.