Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
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he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
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what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.