Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(612): View more from Minnesota

im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.

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(917): View more from New York City

Eric got herpes from Jo-ann

(914): View more from New York

That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian

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(516): View more from New York

onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?

(443): View more from Maryland

he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?

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(804): View more from Virginia

I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(678): View more from Georgia

If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.

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(443): View more from Maryland

Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?

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(248): View more from Michigan

I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?

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(773): View more from Illinois

A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience

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