Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.

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(248): I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose. http://tfl.nu/ckrs

Replies (12) Good night (1212) Bad night (652)
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(214): View more from Texas

apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......

(817): View more from Texas

told ya

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(214): apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back...... (817): told ya http://tfl.nu/csea

Replies (13) Good night (2645) Bad night (680)
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(817): View more from Texas

youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?

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(817): youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy? http://tfl.nu/kdio

Replies (23) Good night (5705) Bad night (706)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.

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(919): its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night. http://tfl.nu/phgw

Replies (73) Good night (8513) Bad night (1413)
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(859): View more from Kentucky

Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby

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(859): Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby http://tfl.nu/0zlt

Replies (13) Good night (4329) Bad night (1481)
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(305): View more from Florida

We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well

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(305): We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well http://tfl.nu/ng2b

Replies (8) Good night (3191) Bad night (1466)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed

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(717): I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed http://tfl.nu/mass

Replies (6) Good night (2214) Bad night (1397)
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(516): View more from New York

I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line

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(516): I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line http://tfl.nu/kwv6

Replies (10) Good night (840) Bad night (3045)
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(808): View more from Hawaii

Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.

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(808): Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION. http://tfl.nu/42zd

Replies (8) Good night (1721) Bad night (675)
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(519): View more from Ontario

you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"

(1-519): View more from Ontario

no way

(519): View more from Ontario

that's when i decided you were gonna be okay

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(519): you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese" (1-519): no way (519): that's when i decided you were gonna be okay http://tfl.nu/clro

Replies (1) Good night (1515) Bad night (461)
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(609): View more from New Jersey

I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...

(856): View more from New Jersey

YOU ARE MY HERO

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(609): I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet... (856): YOU ARE MY HERO http://tfl.nu/qvso

Replies (8) Good night (670) Bad night (348)
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(915): View more from Texas

I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.

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(915): I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday. http://tfl.nu/5xu3

Replies (5) Good night (335) Bad night (604)
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.

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(508): It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming. http://tfl.nu/nix9

Replies (7) Good night (221) Bad night (409)
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(856): View more from New Jersey

he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime

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(856): he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime http://tfl.nu/17r4

Replies (2) Good night (587) Bad night (264)
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(647): View more from Ontario

I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus

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(647): I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus http://tfl.nu/qs6l

Replies (1) Good night (268) Bad night (380)

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