Texts From Last Night

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  (703): View more from Virginia

  just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.

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  (703): just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator. http://tfl.nu/c4j4
  Replies (26) Good night (609) Bad night (6763)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.

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  (702): jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working. http://tfl.nu/9tde
  Replies (43) Good night (7897) Bad night (968)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?

  (815): View more from Illinois

  Quite the contrary. Sophistication.

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  (541): I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression? (815): Quite the contrary. Sophistication. http://tfl.nu/7jsx
  Replies (24) Good night (7524) Bad night (1110)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down

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  (973): not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down http://tfl.nu/e11q
  Replies (6) Good night (4161) Bad night (1109)
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  (458): View more from Oregon

  Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.

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  (458): Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh. http://tfl.nu/m88d
  Replies (22) Good night (5981) Bad night (1581)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?

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  (630): there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have? http://tfl.nu/04yo
  Replies (22) Good night (3161) Bad night (1210)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?

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  (425): My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities? http://tfl.nu/eeu5
  Replies (14) Good night (1323) Bad night (451)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  being pregnant is like rehab

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  (307): being pregnant is like rehab http://tfl.nu/vkth
  Replies (8) Good night (725) Bad night (1820)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras

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  (304): you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras http://tfl.nu/x6pe
  Replies (3) Good night (1825) Bad night (433)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.

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  (541): We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash. http://tfl.nu/8hyq
  Replies (1) Good night (736) Bad night (428)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?

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  (519): Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar? http://tfl.nu/o2qi
  Replies (20) Good night (1741) Bad night (498)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.

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  (541): I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards. http://tfl.nu/slrk
  Replies (1) Good night (463) Bad night (233)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.

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  (309): You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable. http://tfl.nu/j22p
  Replies (1) Good night (312) Bad night (394)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.

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  (404): Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine. http://tfl.nu/q9px
  Replies (1) Good night (597) Bad night (278)
• Favorite

  (830): View more from Texas

  So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?

  (1-830): View more from Texas

  Jeans and a nice top.

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  (830): So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law? (1-830): Jeans and a nice top. http://tfl.nu/z19e
  Replies (3) Good night (645) Bad night (343)

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