Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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