whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Randomize
