Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
