Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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