...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
