I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize