I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
