Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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