remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
