how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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