how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Drunk is not a location!
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
