therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Randomize