just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
