Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
