people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
