white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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