well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
