They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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