If i come over, it means nothing
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
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I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
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I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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