Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
that is very illegal...i love you.
im on a boat
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