If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
