I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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