I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
