i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
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