can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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