Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
