I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
