Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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