I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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