that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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