Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
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