i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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