Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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