I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize