I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Randomize