I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I said "one day" and that day is not today
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
