Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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