Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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